| (If
Famous Historical Documents were Blog Posts...)
The
Unanimous Declaration of the Thirteen United States of America
July 4th, 1776 by Thomas Jefferson
and the Second Continental Congress
When in the Course of human
events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the
political bands which have connected them with another and
to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and
equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's
God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind
requires that they should declare the causes which impel them
to the separation.
We hold these truths to
be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they
are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,
that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Click here for full text
Posted by Thomas Jefferson at 10:00 PM
This entry has 24
comments
John
Hancock says:
First comment! But seriously, this is some brilliant writing
and I couldn’t agree more. I’ve had enough of
British tyranny. Allow me to be the first to sign this document.
- First!
July 4th, 1776 10:05 PM
Loyal British Subject
says:
What a load of bullshit! I’ll be god damned if I’m
going to secede from the great nation of Britain! I hope you
all get what’s coming to you from the all-wise royal
throne.
July 4th, 1776 10:11 PM
King
George says:
What a joke. Our glorious red coat army will continue to crush
any revolutionary forces you guys can muster up.
P.S. You can all look forward
to the new blog tax we’re passing next week.
July 4th, 1776 10:45 PM
General
Washington says:
Good post, Thomas. And don’t mind King George, he’s
just a royal pussy.
July 4th, 1776 11:34 PM
Philadelphia Watchman
says:
That’s right, fuck Britain! Revolution! Revolution!
July 5th, 1776 12:22 AM
King
George says:
LoL, you colonists sure love to talk shit on your faggy little
blogs. All you traitors will be hanged soon enough.
P.S. I look forward to
both of our sides engaging in a brilliant naval battle, oh
wait, you losers don’t even have a navy. Pwned.
July 5th, 1776 8:09 AM
New York Blacksmith
says:
Great post! Britain sucks a giant cock.
July 5th, 1776 9:50 AM
Offended Colonist
Housewife says:
I really don’t appreciate all the insensitivity of this
post. The British are a proud people with a rich history and
you shouldn’t be so disrespectful towards them.
July 5th, 1776 3:21 PM
Ben
Franklin says:
I really don’t appreciate all the insensitivity
of this post. The British are a proud people with a rich history
and you shouldn’t be so disrespectful towards them.
Don’t tread on us,
bitch.
July 5th, 1776 7:44 PM
Offended Colonist
Housewife says:
Don’t tread on us, bitch.
That kind of language doesn’t
surprise me coming from a family deserter such as yourself.
For your own good, go get some counseling ASAP.
July 5th, 1776 10:16 PM
Ben
Franklin says:
That kind of language doesn’t surprise me coming
from a family deserter such as yourself. For your own good,
go get some counseling ASAP.
To quote Poor Richard’s
Almanac:
“Shut up, whore.”
July 6th, 1776 1:53 AM
Mr.
Christopher says:
This sentence is just my pathetic attempt of saying something
meaningful so I come off as less of a spamming douchebag:
For the hottest colonial
girl action, visit:
http://www.BostonTeaPartyXXX.com
July 6th, 1776 9:07 AM
Maximus
says:
Too long, didn't read.
July 6th, 1776 5:27 PM
Concerned Southern
Gentleman says:
As long as we can keep our slaves, I say hell yes! On with
the revolution!
July 6th, 1776 8:53 PM
British Sympathizer
says:
This is ridiculous. All you “rebels” sound like
a bunch of angsty teenagers.
“Waaaah, there's
too many taxes! Waaaah, they shot our minutemen!”
Grow up, move out of your
parent’s basement, and accept British rule.
July 7th, 1776 3:02 AM
Sir Lord Chesterfield
says:
If those filthy American mongrels want to secede, I say let
them! Good riddance to bad rubbish. Those colonies contain
nothing but undesirable scum anyway. England will always represent
the high point of civilization, wealth, and power.
July 7th, 1776 12:36 PM
Chastity says:
Will this new government have a unicameral or bicameral congress?
Also, will women be gaining any rights out of this? How will
slaves be counted towards state populations?
July 7th, 1776 6:02 PM
Thomas
Jefferson says:
Will this new government have a unicameral or bicameral
congress? Also, will women be gaining any rights out of this?
How will slaves be counted towards state populations?
Calm the fuck down. Let’s
win this war first. We'll worry about that junk later.
July 7th, 1776 10:08 PM
Frenchie
says:
Ha, ha, awesome. Whoop some British ass for us. I sure hope
my nation can get in on the action.
July 8th, 1776 11:11 AM
Chief Bear-Claw
says:
Yes, that’s it. You Europeans go right ahead and kill
each other.
July 10th, 1776 5:56 PM
Patriot says:
I know this is an old post, but I just had to leave a comment:
I found this entry very
enjoyable and informative.
December 15th, 1781 5:51 PM
Thomas
Edison says:
I know this post is over 100 years old and that no one reads
it anymore and that everyone above me is dead, but I just
HAD to leave a comment:
Great post!
March 23rd, 1891 4:30 PM
USA Chick
says:
Wow! I just found this blog through StumbleUpon and I think
it’s awesome! I had no idea any of these people existed!
I can’t wait to read all the archived entries.
January 11th, 2008 12:03 AM
Brian
says:
How does crap like this keep making the front page of Digg!!??
January 11th, 2008 12:29 AM
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