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Famous Historical Documents were Blog Posts...)
The
Unanimous Declaration of the Thirteen United States of America
July 4th, 1776 by Thomas Jefferson
and the Second Continental Congress
When in the Course of human events it
becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political
bands which have connected them with another and to assume
among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station
to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them,
a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that
they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident,
that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their
Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these
are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That
to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men,
deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,
— That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive
of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to
abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation
on such principles and organizing its powers in such form,
as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and
Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments
long established should not be changed for light and transient
causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind
are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than
to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they
are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations,
pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce
them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their
duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards
for their future security. — Such has been the patient
sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity
which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.
The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history
of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct
object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these
States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid
world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the
most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass
Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended
in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and
when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for
the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those
people would relinquish the right of Representation in the
Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to
tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies
at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository
of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing
them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses
repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions
on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after
such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby
the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned
to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining
in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from
without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population
of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for
Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage
their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new
Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration
of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing
Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his
Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount
and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices,
and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and
eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace,
Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military
independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject
us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged
by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended
Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed
troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial
from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on
the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts
of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our
Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the
benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be
tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English
Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary
government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it
at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the
same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing
our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms
of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures,
and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate
for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by
declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against
us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our
coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large
Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death,
desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances
of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous
ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens
taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their
Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren,
or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections
amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants
of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known
rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all
ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions
We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our
repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury.
A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which
may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions
to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to
time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable
jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances
of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to
their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured
them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations,
which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence.
They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity.
We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces
our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind,
Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of
the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled,
appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude
of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the
good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare,
That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free
and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance
to the British Crown, and that all political connection between
them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally
dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have
full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances,
establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which
Independent States may of right do. — And for the support
of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection
of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our
Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
Posted by Thomas Jefferson at 10:00 PM
This entry has 24
comments
John
Hancock says:
First comment! But seriously, this is some brilliant writing
and I couldn’t agree more. I’ve had enough of
British tyranny. Allow me to be the first to sign this document.
- First!
July 4th, 1776 10:05 PM
Loyal British Subject
says:
What a load of bullshit! I’ll be god damned if I’m
going to secede from the great nation of Britain! I hope you
all get what’s coming to you from the all-wise royal
throne.
July 4th, 1776 10:11 PM
King
George says:
What a joke. Our glorious red coat army will continue to crush
any revolutionary forces you guys can muster up.
P.S. You can all look forward to the
new blog tax we’re passing next week.
July 4th, 1776 10:45 PM
General
Washington says:
Good post, Thomas. And don’t mind King George, he’s
just a royal pussy.
July 4th, 1776 11:34 PM
Philadelphia Watchman
says:
That’s right, fuck Britain! Revolution! Revolution!
July 5th, 1776 12:22 AM
King
George says:
LoL, you colonists sure love to talk shit on your faggy little
blogs. All you traitors will be hanged soon enough.
P.S. I look forward to both of our sides
engaging in a brilliant naval battle, oh wait, you losers
don’t even have a navy. Pwned.
July 5th, 1776 8:09 AM
New York Blacksmith
says:
Great post! Britain sucks a giant cock.
July 5th, 1776 9:50 AM
Offended Colonist Housewife
says:
I really don’t appreciate all the insensitivity of this
post. The British are a proud people with a rich history and
you shouldn’t be so disrespectful towards them.
July 5th, 1776 3:21 PM
Ben
Franklin says:
I really don’t appreciate all the insensitivity
of this post. The British are a proud people with a rich history
and you shouldn’t be so disrespectful towards them.
Don’t tread on us, bitch.
July 5th, 1776 7:44 PM
Offended Colonist Housewife
says:
Don’t tread on us, bitch.
That kind of language doesn’t
surprise me coming from a family deserter such as yourself.
For your own good, go get some counseling ASAP.
July 5th, 1776 10:16 PM
Ben
Franklin says:
That kind of language doesn’t surprise me coming
from a family deserter such as yourself. For your own good,
go get some counseling ASAP.
To quote Poor Richard’s Almanac:
“Shut up, whore.”
July 6th, 1776 1:53 AM
Mr.
Christopher says:
This sentence is just my pathetic attempt of saying something
meaningful so I come off as less of a spamming douchebag:
For the hottest colonial girl action,
visit:
http://www.BostonTeaPartyXXX.com
July 6th, 1776 9:07 AM
Maximus says:
Too long, didn't read.
July 6th, 1776 5:27 PM
Concerned Southern Gentleman
says:
As long as we can keep our slaves, I say hell yes! On with
the revolution!
July 6th, 1776 8:53 PM
British Sympathizer
says:
This is ridiculous. All you “rebels” sound like
a bunch of angsty teenagers.
“Waaaah, there's too many taxes!
Waaaah, they shot our minutemen!”
Grow up, move out of your parent’s
basement, and accept British rule.
July 7th, 1776 3:02 AM
Sir Lord Chesterfield
says:
If those filthy American mongrels want to secede, I say let
them! Good riddance to bad rubbish. Those colonies contain
nothing but undesirable scum anyway. England will always represent
the high point of civilization, wealth, and power.
July 7th, 1776 12:36 PM
Chastity says:
Will this new government have a unicameral or bicameral congress?
Also, will women be gaining any rights out of this? How will
slaves be counted towards state populations?
July 7th, 1776 6:02 PM
Thomas
Jefferson says:
Will this new government have a unicameral or bicameral
congress? Also, will women be gaining any rights out of this?
How will slaves be counted towards state populations?
Calm the fuck down. Let’s win
this war first. We'll worry about that junk later.
July 7th, 1776 10:08 PM
Frenchie says:
Ha, ha, awesome. Whoop some British ass for us. I sure hope
my nation can get in on the action.
July 8th, 1776 11:11 AM
Chief Bear-Claw says:
Yes, that’s it. You Europeans go right ahead and kill
each other.
July 10th, 1776 5:56 PM
Patriot says:
I know this is an old post, but I just had to leave a comment:
I found this entry very enjoyable and
informative.
December 15th, 1781 5:51 PM
Thomas
Edison says:
I know this post is over 100 years old and that no one reads
it anymore and that everyone above me is dead, but I just
HAD to leave a comment:
Great post!
March 23rd, 1891 4:30 PM
USA Chick says:
Wow! I just found this blog through StumbleUpon and I think
it’s awesome! I had no idea any of these people existed!
I can’t wait to read all the archived entries.
January 11th, 2008 12:03 AM
Brian says:
How does crap like this keep making the front page of Digg!!??
January 11th, 2008 12:29 AM
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