Living
On Your Own
February 8, 2010
.
Twenty-one-year-old college
senior Jeff Richards was in the midst of attending a boring
family gathering. He usually didn't bother going to these
events as he usually felt he had something better to do, but
some of his more persuasive relatives had convinced him that
he should "at least see his family once a year."
While attempting to eat dinner quietly,
Jeff had been suckered into engaging in a discussion about
his plans for the future with his mother and some of his aunts.
Sensing that Jeff's self-esteem was just a little too high
during the conversation, they attempted to knock him down
a peg.
“Just wait until you’re
out on your own someday,” his mother said in her best
condescending, self-important voice, “Then you’ll
have to pay your own bills. Then you’ll see how tough
it is.”
Jeff felt
that he could sort of see where she was coming from, but at
the same time, he was full of confidence and couldn't help
but disagree.
“I honestly don't think living
out on my own will be all that bad," Jeff stated. "I
know I can handle it. I believe in my own abilities to function
independently.”
“Yeah, you say that now,”
his mother scoffed, “But just wait until it actually
happens. THEN YOU'LL SEE.” as she gave Jeff a knowing
look.
* * * 8 MONTHS LATER... * * *
Twenty-two-year-old Jeff Richards returned home to his apartment.
Feeling exhausted from another long day at his full-time job,
he sluggishly sorted through the short stack of mail on the
kitchen table. There were four bills. One from the electric
company, one from the water department, one from his phone
company and one from his cable and internet provider. In addition,
he had just paid his rent the previous day.
About ten minutes later, Jeff had written
out checks for all the bills, placed them in their respective
return envelopes, and stamped the envelopes so that they were
ready to be mailed first thing in the morning. Ever since
he had moved out, it always seemed like his money was leaving
his bank account just as quickly as it had entered.
With a tear running down his face, he
picked up his cell phone and called his mother.
“Hello?”
“Hi Mom, it's me, Jeff. Say, do
you remember all those months ago when you warned me about
how tough it would be to pay my own way once I was out living
on my own?”
“Yeah.”
“Well I just wanted you to know
that I WAS RIGHT and YOU WERE WRONG, stupid-ass! Paying my
own way is SO SIMPLE. All I have to do is work at my job and
pay the bills when they arrive each month. It's basically
the easiest goddamn thing ever! The only reason you ever thought
it was hard is because you're FUCKING LAZY!”
“Jeff! How dare you talk to me
this way! I...”
(click)
Jeff shut off his phone and grabbed
a beer out of his refrigerator. He began to drink it because
he was an independent man and, well, why not drink some beer?
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