You
Know Your Team Blows Dick When...
March 15th, 2007 by Tim Lovett
The
coach gets a Gatorade container dumped over his head to celebrate
the end of a 20 game losing streak!
 |
Normally,
this is reserved for the Super Bowl... |
The Temple
Owls managed to accomplish this "feat" on October
28, 2006. Congratulations on your victory Temple. Now you've
gone from being known as a joke to simply being known as "The
Worst Team in College Football". No, fuck that, you're
still a joke.
It may not
be any secret that the Temple Owls football team sucks, but
dear Lord, what a sickening waste of a school's funding. The
way I see it, if you're going to piss away money on athletics,
at least go all the way and build a contender that has a good
chance of winning the championship or at least securing a
decent bowl game. The worst thing a university can do is have
a half-assed athletics program like Temple does. Their horrible
teams eat up a large sum of money and yet they give nothing
in return to the student body. The games are a pain to watch
because they're almost always being destroyed by the opposition
and they certainly don't increase school spirit (in fact,
they are the number two cause of school hatred behind only
tuition costs). They're better off not having any football
team at all. At least the expenses caused by the football
teams of say, Ohio State and Florida State, give their student
bodies something to look forward to every year.
The other
purpose of university athletics is to increase the general
popularity of the university itself. For example, the United
States contains hundreds upon hundreds of Notre Dame Fighting
Irish fans who have never been within 1000 miles of the school
and never will be. Temple University on the other hand can't
even sell out the lower level of its home stadium. The team
is a failure in every possible respect. This failure is multiplied
tenfold considering that the team plays in Philadelphia. Think
of how passionate Philadelphia Eagles fans are. If Temple
were any good, they could have that same exact gigantic, loyal,
and rabid fan base, and yet they don't. Why? Because Philadelphia
sports fans may suffer though a lot of disappointment, but
even they have standards.
Speaking of
Temple's stadium, how in the hell did they ever convince Eagles
owner Jeffrey Lurie to let their team play at Lincoln Financial
Field? If I were him, I would have told Temple, "Look,
I don't care how much money you wave in my face, but I absolutely
will not subject my grass to being tret on by your sorry excuse
for a team. Now get out of my office before I have my bimbo
secretary burn your secondary for a touchdown."
Then again,
I suppose money is more important than making witty, crushing
remarks.
This should
be a golden rule of the NCAA: Either have a great team or
don't have a team at all. And none of this Div-II and Div-III
bullshit, either be the real deal or don't exist, end of story.
In the meantime, keep on making fun of Temple sports fans
of America. They deserve it.
Printer
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-3.15.2007
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