Golden
Literature has Arrived
March 15th, 2007 by Tim Lovett
It
is already a given that the launch of GoldenLiterature.com
will go down in history as a monumental event, but what does
this mean for the date of March 15th as a whole? Simply
put, it means that this date will forevermore be primarily
associated with this website.
GoldenLiterature.com has already become the most important
thing to ever be born on this date, blowing away it's nearest
competitors:
1767,
Andrew Jackson- Allowed himself to be captured by
the British during the American Revolutionary War. Not
too impressive if you ask me.
1779,
Lord Melbourne- Had a city named after him, but come
on, it's in Australia.
1933,
Ruth Bader Ginsberg- Graduated from James Madison
High School in Brooklyn, New York. Big deal.
1946,
Bobby Bonds- This guy lived in the shadow of his
own son. What a loser.
2007,
GoldenLiterature.com- Pure awesomeness and super
important to all facets of society.
If you're reading this and your birthday happens to fall on
March 15th, fear not. Although, your birth will now
be overshadowed by this site, people will actually respect
you more for sharing your birthday with GoldenLiterature.com.
Even if you are a convicted pedophile and murderer or just
a 50 year old drug addict who has wasted his life away, you'll
still always retain that one positive trait.
Furthermore,
The Ides of March will no longer be something to beware.
Instead, it will be something to celebrate, preferably with
vigorous alcohol consumption and nudity so excessive that
St. Patrick's Day will now feel anti-climatic.
So sit back, relax, and enjoy the material on this site and
look forward to what's to come in the future. In the
unlikely event that you do not like what you see, you can
always take solace in the fact that you had absolutely nothing
better to do.
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